All Our Goodbyes

We meditate and think and often dwell in retrospective of what we have done or who we were. I spent a great deal of time looking back. I now realise I was not indulging in a futile persuit at all, I was saying goodbye to to all the people I have been. It is only after we have said these farewells we can truly know the self and understand (if that is the right word) the human we have created.

From our first stumblings amid the mysteries to the grand moment of awakened realisation of who we are I am reminded of this flame burning deep within that makes many a magickian devour their art:

"In the little world in which children have their existence, whosoever brings them up, there is nothing so finely perceived and so finely felt, as injustice." (Charles Dickens - from Great Expectations, 1860-61)

Will

I got to thinking...magickians always talk of the will, the true will utmost and paramount. When we die some of us leave a last will and testament, this is the last expression of our will on this earth. Its our last chance to settle our affairs whether financial or otherwise and communicate directly with the living. A voice from beyond the grave manifesting the will. I don't know what I will say but its a strange macarbre thought that these words I am writing now will remain in cyberspace long after I am gone. Friends can read this and feel either comforted or disturbed by it, its up to them. Cyberspace will outlive our generation, we who were there at its birth. Sobering stuff. I guess its a question of control, after a lifetime of compromise most individuals console themselves in the choices they make for their end. The idea of simply walking away from this life without a fuss appeals to very few. Most seek the pomp and ceremony created by their mourners. To me death is like autumn, another leaf falls from the tree and it will inevitably get trodden underfoot, mulched or swept up and forgotten. It does however fall silently and gracefully.